Titles are overrated

Warning: The entire blog is centered around (dah dah dah!) ME. It's self-serving, self-indulgent, and self-centered. Deal.

Monday, November 28, 2005

I've reached breaking point. I can't stand it any more! Why can't people learn to write their native language correctly? It's not that hard! I'm sure teachers have been complaining about this forever, but it has only been with the advent of the world-wide web and the essentially unrestricted ability of the populace to get published therein that the common person (meaning people without experience in journalism or literature) has been able to write and put it somewhere where a great number of other people can read it, without having to filter their work through any sort of review, editing, or publishing process. And I believe it's steadily leading to the degradation of the language. People who don't know the difference between two words use them interchangeably, and eventually everyone starts to accept them as being interchangeable. The nuances and idiosyncrasies of our language are slowly changing or disappearing altogether and it's largely due to ignorance. The past-tense of "dream" used to be "dreamt." Now it's "dreamed," just like every other past-tense in the language ends in "ed." How about "knelt"? Everyone accepts "kneeled" these days without batting an eye. As soon as "feeled" replaces "felt," I'm just going to shoot myself.

And a few of my linguistic pet peeves:

complement vs. compliment: They can both be a verb or a noun, but they NEVER mean the same thing. To complement something (verb) means to complete it or match it somehow, whereas a (full) complement (noun) means a having a complete set of something. Compliment, on the other hand, means to say something nice about someone (verb), or the nice thing you said (noun). They're different, and dumbasses who don't know the difference shouldn't be allowed to use them in writing.

Ensure vs. insure: This is perhaps one of the most egregious examples, wherein they used to be completely separate words, and now they're largely accepted in lieu of each other. Or rather, "insure" can now be used in place of "ensure," but most people don't use "ensure" to mean "insure." To "ensure" something means to make sure of it. To "insure" something means to set aside or establish some sort of compensation in case it breaks or falls through, etc. Every time I see documentation that says "We'd done blah to insure the proper functioning of blah," I want to call up the company and tell them it's NOT working right, and I expect my insurance payment to be mailed promptly.

Affect vs. effect: These are probably the most misused words I know, and yet they're TOTALLY DIFFERENT! For the most part, "effect" is a noun, and "affect" is a verb. "Cause and effect" vs. "You can see how your actions affect others." Effect can be a verb, though, and affect can be a noun, but when effect is a verb, it means to bring something into existence, and when affect is a noun, it refers specifically to an effect having to do with someone's emotions. Here's the usage note from The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language: "Affect and effect have no senses in common. As a verb affect is most commonly used in the sense of “to influence” (how smoking affects health). Effect means “to bring about or execute”: "layoffs designed to effect savings." Thus the sentence "These measures may affect savings" could imply that the measures may reduce savings that have already been realized, whereas "These measures may effect savings" implies that the measures will cause new savings to come about." There, I think that says it.

And what about punctuation? Specifically, apostrophes. I'm not going to bemoan the improper use of "its" and "it's", because most people know when they're using them wrong, and they're just too lazy to care, and I think that's a battle that is already lost. English will always respect the difference between the two (meaning that the ambivalence of the public will never cause the two to become interchangeable in proper usage), but people will always be too lazy to care. I'm fine with that. I'm just upset about people's IGNORANCE of the language causing the language to get dumbed down.

No, I'd rather talk about the use of apostrophes for possessive forms. Get this: even if a word ends in "s", you still put "'s" after it to make it possessive, whether it's a proper noun or not. If you're talking about a ball that belongs to James, you're talking about James's ball, not James' ball. If you're talking about seats on a bus, they're the bus's seats, not the bus' seats. It's not that hard. There are only two times you add just an apostrophe and not an s: Plural nouns (e.g., the cars' engines), and if the singular noun ends in "s" and is followed immediately in the sentence by a word that starts with "s" or "sh" (e.g., the witness' statement, the boss' secretary, or the octopus' suckers). Now, I can forgive misuse of apostrophes under the last rule, because it's obscure and doesn't really add anything to the language, but the rest are EASY TO REMEMBER, and there's really no excuse for making a mistake. If you do, you're either too lazy or too ignorant to know better, and if you're old enough to figure out how to start a blog, you should have already had enough English classes in public schooling to get this right.

Oh, and don't use apostrophes to pluralize nouns. No matter how badly you want to, resist the temptation. If you're talking about several of them, then you're talking about apostrophes, not apostrophe's.

Alright, I think I'm done. I can come up with tons more examples, but I'm satisfied with my rant. It has served the purpose of venting on the subject.

And I'm spent. Toodles.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

I have bad luck with women. I know this is a complaint that a lot of guys have, but for me it's true. My brother will tell me I just don't try hard enough, but that's not it. I don't expect attention to fall on me out of the sky. I don't expect that girls that I'm interested in will magically come up and start talking to me just because I'm interested in them. I don't mind that I don't get a lot of action in any way from girls. What I do mind is that, seemingly every time I ask a girl to do something, she cancels. And I really don't mind a girl cancelling on me once. I don't mind several girls cancelling plans with me over the course of a year, or even a few months. But it's a pattern. And it's not like I'm expecting something big; I haven't asked them to go on a cruise with me, or anything like that. No, it's things like lunch, or showing up to a party I'm throwing, or even getting together at a bar. And you know, if they would even have enough respect for me to call me and cancel, that'd be better. But no... Not every time, certainly, but 90% of the time, if a girl is going to cancel plans with me, it happens when I'M CALLING HER, probably WHEN WE'RE SUPPOSE TO BE GETTING TOGETHER, and she gives me some bullshit excuse. I know, you probably think I'm getting needlessly upset over a couple isolated incidents. But that's not the case. Let's see... Just starting this semester, I can think of eleven separate incidents, including three where the girl never even answered her damn phone when I called her WHEN WE WERE ALREADY SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOTTEN TOGETHER, and never returned my call.

And of course, there's tonight's incident, that sparked this whole tirade: the friend who was supposed to come up for a party TONIGHT, and after I CALLED HER during the party, she told me she couldn't come. She tried to make conversation, and then gave me the entire explanation for why she couldn't come, saying "I know you understand." I don't understand. Take responsibility for your own actions, and show people a little bit of consideration. She knew she wasn't going to be coming hours before I called her. Why couldn't she have called me earlier? Say, before I was expecting her to be there?

Notice a trend? Am I just so fucking inconsequential that people don't think they need to have the common fucking decency to take the initiative and call me to let me know they're going to cancel on me? Why do I have to call THEM for them to cancel? It pisses me off, embarrasses me, and makes me feel about an inch tall.

Maybe people are just assholes, and I shouldn't be surprised. Or maybe I just take these things too seriously. But you know what? I am surprised, and I do take it seriously. When I alter my plans for the day to include someone, who just decides not to show up, it fucking pisses me off. But what am I going to do? Am I just going to blow up at the next person who does it to me, even though if she were the only person to do it, I wouldn't really be that upset? I can't do that, because it's not her fault, not entirely. And so I'm left venting my frustration in this passive-aggressive medium where there's always the chance that the people in question will run across this and be twice as pissed because at the time, I DID tell them it was alright, and that I understood... Geez, this sucks.

Maybe I should just blame the entire female gender and become a misogynist. Or maybe I should just stop being a nice guy about it. No more "hey, you gotta do what you gotta do," and "that's okay, really," and "I understand." Start changing my repertoire to include a little bit more of what I actually feel, instead of what I think will keep them from feeling bad. Fuck that. I do feel bad, and they should too. So maybe I should bite the bullet and just tell everyone exactly how I feel when it happens. Sure, it might make ME the asshole, but maybe I'd get points for honesty and sincerity.

Jessica Brewer, Jen Hassler, and Lacey Wells are the only girls I've scheduled anything with in the last month and a half that have actually kept the date. Kudoes to them. The rest of the female gender can kiss my ass. And Jennifer wondered why I still refer to them as "girls" instead of "women." Well, wonder no more.