Huh... Just like my journal, I suppose. I haven't written in it in almost a year, either. Which begs the question, why? I think the answer is that I've been happy for about a year, and when I'm happy, happiness is enough -- writing down what I'm thinking or feeling is unnecessary. Demanding that I maintain a regular schedule of writing about anything is unnecessary, superfluous.
So that begs the question, "Why am I writing now?" Well, it's not because I'm unhappy. Granted, I wouldn't characterize myself as being effusively joyful right now. I wouldn't even describe my state as being one of general contentment. But I'm not unhappy, either. Rather, I'm feeling introspective, and that's enough to warrant my once-in-a-year post.

When I was in high school, I used to scoff at people when they said I had to work hard, study hard, keep my nose to the grindstone, etc. because how I did was going to affect the rest of my life. These days, though, I believe that. I mean, without my scores on the PSAT, I'd be going to Sam Houston, slogging along there, and (because that's the way I am), I'd probably have few friends of my own, and instead I' be spending my time with Andy's friends. But high school went the way that it did, and I'm here rather than there, and for the most part I'm quite happy with how things turn out. But is that going to be the way of things in three months? When I graduate, where am I going to go? Even if I choose to go to grad school at UH, things won't be the same. I'll be working 8:00 - 5:00, working on my master's degree, and living off campus. I won't have the camaraderie I currently have with my friends, I won't see them nearly as often, and I think that in general I'll be less satisfied with life. On the other hand, if I move away, what do I have then? All my friends are left behind, and I have to start over again, but in the scenario described above for grad school, which obviously doesn't allow nearly as much room for socializing as my current situation does. So, it's obvious that the quantity and quality of my friends is going to change. So maybe that shouldn't be a consideration. After all, if we're really good friends, we'll stay in touch, right? With that in mind, though, I've started looking at my friends in a different light, thinking to myself, "Am I ever going to see this person again? In five years, will he/she even remember my name?" And that pretty much sums up the reason why I'm discontented these days. I've never been an outgoing or particularly social creature. I don't make friends easily, but I lose them very easily. And, based on history, it'll be another five and a half years before I get another girlfriend (though, based on the trends, the next relationship I'm in will last half as long as the last one, because it lasted half as long as the previous one). So maybe I shouldn't worry about it. It's true what they say, you know. Love finds you when you're least expecting it. You're never going to make someone else happy without being happy yourself. So, I'm going to set a few goals that I think are very worthwhile, and best define the course I'd like my life to take, and I'm going to make whatever decisions further those goals. However, since it's not something I can entirely control, I'm not going to include "fall in love and live happily ever after" on my list. It's on the wishlist, though.

Damn, that's one nasty, run-on sentence. Deal.