I just read something over on Blake's blog that made me think... It was in the comments on his most recent post (Mar. 7, 2004). Britnee posted two different comments. The first one states, "But how we make ourselves appear to be is eventually who we will become." And the second, "Sometimes people act like the person they want to be, but that isn't really who they are. And they realize a lot later." When I first read those, I went, "Man, Britnee needs to make up her mind." But now I'm not so sure that either is wrong, or that they're even contradictory. Here's my take on it:

I act a particular way. I try to be nice, I try to be considerate, I try to act toward other people the way I know I'd want them to act toward me if our positions were reversed. I'm not successful at doing it, by any means, but I try, and that's what's important, I think. In the past, this has meant that I go out of my way to help people, even when I know that I'm being abused in the process. And that's the way I was, because that's how I wanted to be. At the time, that's really who I was, and it took a while for resentment to work its way into the picture. When it did, I swallowed it, and kept on doing my thing. Until finally, I decided not to acquiesce. I've noticed it happening more and more in recent days. And you know, I didn't feel bad about it afterwards, I felt better. Not only did I not feel bad for not going out of my way to help someone in an unreasonable case, but I didn't feel that resentment toward them. And so, that's who I've become. If I have a schedule, I don't feel bad for sticking to it rather than helping someone in need, though when I'm free, I'll still gladly lend my help wherever it might be appreciated.

Prima facia, I haven't really addressed the original topic... But here's the thing: When I allowed myself to get walked all over (before I decided it was wrong), that's who I really was. It came naturally, and it helped define who I was. Now that it feels wrong, I act differently, and the way I act now (for the most part) feels right. Hence, it defines who I am. So, my take is: We eventually become what we do, but only insomuch as it comes naturally and feels right. We act out of accord with our nature, and it feels wrong, and we either realize it and change, or we keep on acting that way until we stop realizing that it's wrong, and we become what we do.

Too deep for a Thursday night. I'm going to bed.